To Have or Have Not

  1. Charmian says:

    Oh my darling daughter I know so well the long struggle you have had with all of this and our secret talks about ‘what if ‘ ? I feel so sad for this part of your life that hasn’t come to fruition and in some way I feel guilty – if only we had known more about the problems that occurred years before with terrible periods and had obtained the correct information to know what was going on ! You may have made different decisions in your life but you have done some amazing things and had success in everything you have done and we are so proud of you and what you have done ! You are our daughter but you are also a beautiful thoughtful and loving person as so many have found out . We wish you delight and satisfaction in all you do and your continued dreams work out . All our love always Mum & Dad

    • Hannah Berry says:

      Mum, there is no need whatsoever to feel any guilt!! No-on had really heard of Endo 20 years ago so there was nothing you could have done. I also didn’t meet the right person at the right time to consider it. Thank you, love you. xx

  2. Hannah M says:

    I really admire you for publishing this. It’s very honest and real. Thank you for being so open about your journey. I’ve not had children for similar reasons and suffered the insensitive comments and questions throughout my 20s and 30s – “How will you ever be happy if you don’t have children?” was a particularly hurtful and scary one and sometimes being made to feel that the fact that my womb wasn’t being taken full advantage of was a selfish decision on my part. I didn’t meet my husband until we were both in our late 30s and it took a good 3 years of discussion, soul searching and talking to other women of my age both who had and not had children for a variety of reasons to come to the final decision that not having children was the best option for us. I don’t regret our choice although, like you, I think there will always be a part of me that wonders ‘what if?’ You are so right when you say the important thing is to enjoy the life you have.

    • Hannah Berry says:

      Thank you lovely. The questioning, however innocent, really needs to stop. If someone doesn’t offer that information it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business. I think it’s exactly that, enjoy the life you have, otherwise, it’s wasted moping for something you don’t have, no-one has everything. x

  3. Isabel says:

    Thank you for sharing this.

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